Funny Animals

Iguana. Viagra. Good Times.

Sometimes even the Geico Gecko needs a little help.

Written on Thursday, January 25th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 1 Comment so far

Someone had to do it. Someone gave their iguana some viagra.

It had an erection that lasted more than a week. I didn’t even know iguanas had anything to get an erection with. I thought they….well…I never really thought about how they reproduced. Eggs or something, I guess. Who spends time thinking about that?

So the owner takes the iguana to the vet, because, well who wants an iguana with 5 legs? The vet decides to remove the poor thing’s wang just in case. Poor creature.

But wait…there’s more….the iguana had 2 wangs!

Why didn’t the second one get the effects of Viagra too? I guess that’s a question for veternarians or Pfizer. Someone email them and ask, please. Those of us with 2 wangs need to know!

So A Dog Walks Into a Bar…

Just what the world needs. Another reason for a dog to vomit on everything.

Written on Wednesday, January 24th, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 2 Comments so far

New societal low? Or overlooked consumer finally being pandered too. It’s doggie beer! Figures it’d have to be Amsterdam, right?

Berenden consigned a local brewery to make and bottle the nonalcoholic beer, branded as Kwispelbier. It was introduced to the market last week and advertised it as “a beer for your best friend.”

“Kwispel” is the Dutch word for wagging a tail.

Not wagging its tail as much as if it would if it were alcholic. Gotta start somewhere. So where do you take your new drinkin’ buddy? To the bar of course!

If dog-loving lawmakers prevail, Fido could soon be sidling up to bar stools around Washington state under a measure that would allow well-behaved, leashed canines to join their human companions as they down their favorite microbrews.

The measure was introduced by Sen. Ken Jacobsen, a Seattle Democrat who got the idea at the Fish Tale Brewpub, formerly known as the Fish Bowl, in downtown Olympia.

“I was sitting at the Fish Bowl looking at all the dogs outside sitting in the cold and the rain, while all the owners were warm inside,” said Jacobsen, who doesn’t own a dog.

If my dog starts trying to pick up the dogs at the bar, before I can get to them; he’s gettin’ neutered. That’s all I got to say about that!

Horse Sex Goes Mainstream

The love that dare not speak its name is now high fashion.

Written on Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007 by lorien1973 :: 6 Comments so far

Two (un)related stories about a girl (well, several girls really). A horse. And love. Need I say more?

The women. Dressed as horses. Mmmm…that’s fetching. The outfits were designed by Portuguese fashion designer Felipe Oliveira Baptista for the 2007 Haute Couture fashion show. Haute is right. Meow. Wait…. Neigh.

Where’s the sex, you say? Did you think I’d let you down? Here is a link to a story about the movie Zoo (IMDB page). Here’s the nitty gritty details on this:

“Zoo,” premiering before a rapt audience Saturday night at Sundance, manages to be a poetic film about a forbidden subject, a perfect marriage between a cool and contemplative director (the little-seen “Police Beat”) and potentially incendiary subject matter: sex between men and animals. Not graphic in the least, this strange and strangely beautiful film combines audio interviews (two of the three men involved did not want to appear on camera) with elegiac visual re-creations intended to conjure up the mood and spirit of situations.

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Devor and his writing partner, Charles Mudede, live in Seattle and were stunned, as were many in the state, by a story that broke in 2005 about a local man who died after having sex with an Arabian stallion.

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Though “Zoo” is intent on allowing these men to be heard, Devor’s intention was not polemical.

These men are normally heard about on places where they belong. You know. Like Jerry Springer. While I appreciate the film makers attempt to conjure up the mood of finding a horse sexy and appealing, I’m not the least bit curious about those big black eyes, that silky mane, those long legs…oh wait. I’ll finish this post later. I need to find Mr Ed for a quickie.